I can't tell you my real name. Not the name I was given at birth, but my real name, the name the conspiracy gave me.
My boss's name is ROGER. My coworkers call him ROGER RABBIT, because he has overly large front teeth and a gorgeous wife. I cannot remember my coworkers' names. For one thing, they change every week. Not their names, but the coworkers themselves.
"What happened to GEORGE?" I would ask.
"Oh do you mean JIM? He was fired. I'm KEVIN."
Every week, out with the old, in with the new. In hindsight, I realized that this was due to the conspiracy, to make me uneasy, to make me unsure and insecure and look strange. So I stopped learning their names. No more GEORGEs or JIMs or KEVINs. Just RANDOM COWORKER NUMBER 2 or UNKNOWN PERSON 3.
As for the conspiracy, I do not believe it has a true name. It is, after all, INVISIBLE and VICIOUS and OLDER than words and REASON and has YEARNED for more than what we can give it.
I'm sorry. When I get nervous or excited, I tend to capitalize more and more words. Just a tic.
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