I am a reader at a publishing house. I read manuscripts day in and day out. You would think that's a pretty boring job, but I like it. I like reading. Sure, I get mainly stinkers, but every so often there is a jewel in the rough. I like finding those and sending them on to people who can polish them up and publish them.
I was working on Friday when the mailman dropped on the usual bundle of manuscripts for me - however, there was one that stuck out. The reason being that it had been mailed in a incredibly crumpled brown paper bag.
I opened the bag and removed the manuscript and began to read.
It is possibly the strangest thing I have ever read. And I love it. I know for a fact that no one here will publish it - it is just too out there - so I took it home and have decided that I will publish it online. The writer (who has remained anonymous) put a note on the first page releasing the entire document into the public domain, so I won't get into trouble.
In any case, the manuscript was called Paranoia: A Manifesto. And it begins like this:
The conspiracy stepped up its game today. They turned up the volume on my alarm clock, so when I woke up, it was with a blaring headache. Clever bastards.
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